In the history of video games, there have been many incredibly successful games that have stood the test of time, as well as many that were panned by critics and probably should’ve stayed on store shelves before being disposed of. Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties is most certainly one of those games, falsely advertised as “Plays like a game… feels like a MOVIE!!!”. It was published and developed by United Pixtures initially for Windows Computers in 1993 but had very limited copies available, then later published by Kirin Entertainment for the Panasonic 3DO 1994 where it was more accessible.

The game remained in obscurity until 2009 when James Rolfe, better known as the Angry Video Game Nerd, covered this long-forgotten game, bringing more awareness to it. Years later and because of that video, Limited Run Games announced at E3 2021 that one of the worst games of all time is getting remastered as Plumber’s Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition, now available digitally on Xbox Series X|S, PlayStation 4|5, Nintendo Switch and PC, with a physical version due out later.

The main game begins with an intro video of Jeanne Basone as Jane, talking about what to expect in the game, before leading into the opening credits and random photos from a motorsports event with inverted colours. What does this have to do with the game? Honestly, nothing. Anyway, after the very lengthy and pointless opening credits, John gets a call from his mother one morning who convinces him to wear a tie to work because it’ll attract women, even though he works as a plumber, he reluctantly agrees. Jane’s father isn’t much different and is also rushing her to get married, even just settling for some nerd because they’re smart and finally give him some grandchildren. Father of the Year material right there. John heads off to work, while Jane is on her way to a job interview and the two happen to meet by chance in a parking lot. Here is where the video game part begins, and players choose what action the characters should take and see the outcome.

The main game itself plays almost as badly as it did back in the day. “Plays like a game… feels like a MOVIE!!!” was a very misleading slogan, as the only video is at the beginning with Jane speaking to the players, and the rest is just photographs presented like a slideshow with fully voice-acted audio to tell the story. The Definitive Edition makes a lot of small improvements however.

In the original game, there was no way to skip or fast forward through the cutscenes, which are quite lengthy and can drag on having to see them over and over. If you have already seen a scene, this version allows you to skip to the next picture or even to the next scene entirely. When the onscreen choices come up, highlighting each one would trigger a narrator to briefly explain what it might lead to, but you’d have to wait until the audio clip finished all the way to the end before you could highlight the next option, which of course triggered another audio clip and players would have to suffer through it all to get to the choice they want. Thankfully, the wait time has been removed and players can decide on their choices more freely. Subtitles are also now available.

This game also provides the option to upscale the outdated and pixelated images to give a slightly clearer picture. The overall presentation of the menu screens reflects the old computer menu screens from the early to mid 90s, really giving it that nostalgic feeling.

The Definitive Edition offers much more than just an improved version of the original game. It includes a mini-game called Plumb the Depths, a retro-looking first-person shooter like Wolfenstein 3D. The main goal is to explore and collect bonus content such as images, videos, and deleted scenes that can be viewed in the Gallery, all while avoiding the sleazy Mr. Thresher from the main game. If the heavily pixelated Mr. Thresher gets too close to you, it’s game over.

To defend yourself, you can pick up to three plungers to use as ammo and shoot him, which will only slow him down temporarily before he respawns. Plumb the Depths isn’t the most fun minigame, which was obviously the intention anyway, but the incentive to collect all the bonus content is what makes it worth it.

The bonus content is no doubt the biggest feature of Plumber’s Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition, which as mentioned above, can all be collected in Plumb the Depths and viewed in the Gallery. It includes scans of the original script and even some legal documents, all the images from the main

game, deleted scenes, or more like unused photos from the game, a 3D view of the original package, case, and disc and best of all, 23 videos to enjoy.

The videos include various interviews with the crew behind this revival, well-known gaming journalists such as Jeremy Parish, Kelsey Lewin, and even the Angry Video Game Nerd himself, Jeanne Basone who portrayed Jane in the game, and a recreated intro video for this remaster. There are also videos of two full playthroughs of the game with commentary by either the producer with Jeanne Basone or the development team, and even a video from the YouTube channel, GoodBadFlicks that covers the history of the game.

All the videos give a ton of insight and what the thinking process was behind such a low-budget game that was destined to fail. It’s amazing to see how it’s come from being a very obscure game, to gaining notoriety thanks to Angry Video Game Nerd and now being brought to modern consoles. It’s as corny and cheesy as it ever was, with certain dialogue that didn’t age well, but that’s all part of its charm. It’s a perfect example of “So bad, it’s good.”

The Angry Video Game Nerd episode that covered the original Plumber Don’t Wear Ties, was first featured on the GameTrailers website in 2009, before James Rolfe went independent and reposted the episode on his YouTube channel, Cinemassacre in 2011, which as of this date has more than 9 million views.

Jeanne Basone is actually a professional wrestler, best known for her time in GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling) as ‘Hollywood’. She has also been a model, an actress, and stuntwoman appearing in various shows and movies. Today she owns her own business and is still involved in professional wrestling, so her reputation wasn’t impacted at all by her role in Plumber Don’t Wear Ties and her interviews are quite funny, especially how she found out about the game more than 15 years after its initial release.

Unfortunately, the rest of the cast and crew behind the original game don’t appear in this remaster and not much information can be found about them online, other than some lesser-known movies they appeared in. It isn’t explained why they don’t appear, so it’s a shame we don’t get to hear them tell their sides of the story behind the game.

Not in a million years would anyone have ever expected to see Plumber’s Don’t Wear Ties on modern consoles, but here we are. It may be a remaster that nobody asked for, but we certainly are glad that Limited Run Games made it happen. Playing this terrible game is a nice and painful trip down memory lane but also educational thanks to all the videos detailing what games and game development was like in the 90s. Everything that was bad about it is now what makes it great. At only $24.95 AUD, Plumber’s Don’t Wear Ties: Definitive Edition is an excellent and fun way to enjoy a terrible game with hours of bonus content.

Written by: Sammy Hanson