Baa, baaa. BAAAAA!!! Oh, sorry, I forgot I’m not actually a goat. These simulators aren’t always the most realistic, but this one sure is a lot of fun and easy to get lost in for hours on end.

Developed by Coffee Stain North, Goat Simulator 3, AKA the 2nd one… Wait, did they skip number 2? Yes, they did, and that’s just the beginning of the whacky fun that comes with Goat Simulator 3. Pilgor is back to wreak havoc once again in this all-new, totally realistic, sandbox farmyard experience, and this time, you can bring a herd. That’s right, now with co-op, you can become an unstoppable herd of goats. Nothing and no one will be able to stand in your way. It’s time to lick, headbutt, and run your way through a whole new world in the biggest waste of time since the first Goat Simulator.

With a whole new adventure comes an array of good and baaaaad. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself, but that being said, it is mostly good, so don’t worry. As you take control of Pilgor once again, you are greeted with an interesting and nostalgic cutscene many gamers will recognize. I will keep this as spoiler free as possible and not tell you what that is, just go and experience it for yourself, and you won’t be disappointed.

After a short tutorial on how to be a goat again, we begin our adventure by synchronizing a goat tower. Hrmmm… That sounds familiar. I swear I’ve done something like this before. This brings me to one of the things I absolutely love about Goat Simulator 3; the insane amount of easter eggs and references to other video games, movies, and pop culture. Each one I recognized had me laughing or saying “OMG!” the second I realized what it was. There are so many that I’m still finding new ones each time I boot it up.

Goating around the city is a bit easier and quicker with your new triple jump. It’s not your traditional multiply mid-air jumps, but more of a hop, skip, and jump. By timing your jumps as you land, you get a boost of speed and height. Doing so will get you around and on to places that little bit easier. Even with some new movement features, controlling Pilgor can still be a struggle sometimes, landing wrong and leading you to ragdoll, or getting stuck on things when trying to climb to greater heights. This can be a little frustrating at times when going for collectibles and trying to complete a quest, but it can also lead to some amusing outcomes, especially when watching a friend struggle just as much.

Goat Simulator 3 has so much to offer with a good amount of quests, events, collectibles, and secrets to find. Starting out with our quests, there’s a good variety that takes inspiration from other games. Did I mention there are a load of references? They vary from those annoying fetch quests we all love, such as collecting a stupid amount of a particular item, to a good chunk being references to movies and games. Naturally, we are going to want something to collect and do alongside these activities, so what better way than with a large number of trinkets to find, as to what happens when I find them all, I don’t know. I’m still on the hunt.

Bring your friends along for the fun, because with a co-op mode, you can play with up to 4 friends online or locally and cause chaos together. This was a load of fun; exploring, completing quests together, and laughing at each other’s demise when things go horribly, or should I say, amazingly wrong. You don’t have to work together though, you can choose to just beat each other up, knock each other flying with a supercharged headbutt, or battle it out in the multiple PvP modes.

These include, King of the Hill, Headsplat, Hoofball, Prop Golf, Car Derby, The Floor is Lava and Prop Hunt. I highly recommend playing with a full game of 4 people, because although some of them are alright in with 2 players, there is much more fun to be had with more goats.

Co-op does come with some downsides; only the host will retain quest completion and progress towards their Goat Castle, however, anything the other player obtains, like collectibles and gear for their goat, will be kept. I also lost a little bit of performance when I had another player in my online game, which was minimal and easily looked passed with the amount of fun that ensued.

Glitches or features? Yes. I feel with some of the glitches I came across didn’t really take away from my experience, funny enough. Most of them were just stretching my goat out, getting randomly launched into the air, or falling through the map, and I will admit some of these were forced because it was fun. I expect the team at Coffee Stain North is quite aware of some of these and don’t see it as much of a problem. I most certainly don’t. Nothing made my game unplayable.

Pimp out your goat with the huge wardrobe full of obtainable and purchasable cosmetics, but don’t fear, these are all purchasable by in-game currency earnt from completing quests and other activities. Not only are these items cosmetic, but some come with abilities, whether it’s just a light bulb you can turn on and off, or the ability to shoot fireworks, there are so many options, but it’s best to explore them for yourself. I had a blast unlocking, finding, and using the hundreds of wardrobe items.

With a whole new city to explore, I was excited to jump in, and when I did was I shocked. Goat Simulator 3 was pretty decent for such a small install. Obviously, it doesn’t have realistic triple AAA graphics, but I don’t believe that’s what Coffee Stain North is going for. Whatever style they went with, they nailed it, and I would best describe it as cartoony with great lighting, accompanied by some funky NPC models. The map is almost GTA-like, but not, because, you know, Goat Simulator is its own game, with the map ranging from a suburban area to woods and even a city to explore at your only goatly pace.

Coming back again with its iconic funky soundtrack, much like their first installment, I felt right at the farm, along with the terrified screams, hysterical crying, and the NPCs’ shock as a goat just roams freely in their world. Not much has changed from the original Goat Simulator; don’t mess with what isn’t broken, right? Oh, and don’t forget the freedom to “Baaaa!” at will. It’s always satisfying to press that button just to speak your mind. The mind of a goat, that is.

Goat Simulator 3 is a game, no, not a game sorry, a realistic simulator, and I definitely recommend checking it out, especially for fans of the first, and more so for new fans wanting to experience the life of a goat. A goat with udder freedom that is. I had a blast playing this, by myself and in co-op, and still have many hours left of enjoyment. Aside from the small performance issues, I believe this is the best Goat Simulator on the market.

Written by: MrVibeAU