Published by Ultimate Games and developed by Terror Dog Studio, ‘Diamond Hands: To The Moon’ is a 2D, side-scrolling platform game where the aim is to jump your way to the moon. It was first released on PC and Mac back in 2021 and is now available on Nintendo Switch, Xbox Series X|S and Xbox One.

There’s not really a plot attached to the game but it seems to be somewhat poking fun at the stock market based on the various backgrounds players will see as they make their way to the moon. Players take control of an unnamed businessman with the only controls being left, right and jump, and must make their way to the top by successfully landing on each platform.

The objective is simple, but actually succeeding is anything but. This 2D platforming game requires absolute precision, having to land perfectly on each platform, where even the smallest slip can send you all the way back to the bottom. The timer displayed on top of the screen is handy to keep track of your time.

The jumping mechanics aren’t like other 2D platformers where you could change direction in midair to help land safely on a platform. In this game, holding down the jump button for a certain time dictates how high you’ll jump, so getting the timing right is crucial to reaching the next platform. Holding it down for too long or not long enough could also send you falling all the way back to the start.

The platforms themselves come in different sizes. Some are wide and easier to land on, but a lot are quite small and require more precise timing, and some platforms are only the size of a pixel and require absolutely perfect precision and timing. There are also platforms that are on a slant that are best avoided, because landing will only send players sliding down, possibly back to the start again. It’s definitely a game that can be described as rage-inducing fun, enough to frustrate you to want to smash your controller, but also very rewarding if you make it all the way to the end.

Technically, there is only one stage in this game, but it’s divided up into different segments the further you go up. Each segment seems to have a different theme, starting with a building on Wall Street based on the real-life Wall Street in New York City that’s famous for all its stock market shenanigans, to robots, to the Stonks meme, to a parody game of console sales and more, before finally reaching the Moon. It’s never explicitly explained what any of this means, but it’s certainly fun to look at.

There is a 2 player co-op available where you can play with a friend on a split screen and try to make it to the moon together. Despite being labelled as a co-op, it feels more like you’re competing with each other and racing to the top, but it’s still more fun when playing with someone.

The PC version seems to have online multiplayer, with various players with usernames displayed above them, all trying to make it to the top, but it’s nowhere on the console versions. Even if finding other players might be difficult, it would still be a nice option to have.

The art style is a throwback to classic games with 8-bit game graphics. They’re bright and colourful and keep things simple. The platforms are indicated by a glowing outline, which really helps distinguish them from the rest of the background and prevents any confusion.

The soundtrack sticks to the retro theme to compliment the 8-bit graphics, with some catchy tunes that change as players reach each segment. The tracks sound like they’re more from the 16-bit era, but are fun to listen to nonetheless. If players can somehow make it to the Moon, a clean version of the song ‘To The Moon’ by The Gorillionairez will play along with the end credits and is a perfect way to end the game after all that hardship.

There isn’t much more to Diamond Hands: To The Moon other than getting to the moon. The amount of time it takes will vary with each player. It will definitely be appealing to speed runners and the fastest time I’ve found on YouTube so far is 4 minutes and 27 seconds. It will also make for entertaining streams, but other than that, there isn’t much else to do which makes it hard to justify the $10.50 AUD price tag. It feels like it would be best suited as a free mobile game that makes its revenue from ads.

What Diamond Hands: To The Moon aims to do, it does really well. It is addictive rage inducing fun that will keep you busy and frustrated, but feel accomplished if you can make it all the way to that damn Moon.

Written by: Sammy Hanson